According to the Bhagvad Gita,
A soul has to live many lives and undergo specific experiences in specific lives before it attains perfection and becomes one with the Divine. In this process, it chooses the time of its rebirth and most importantly its mother through whom it feels it shall come into this world and attain that precise experience.
I never knew that this verse is going to be so true for my life.
Once during my early pregnancy my sister in law and me were just casually chatting about the responsibilities and joys of being a mother. She wanted to know if I felt a little apprehensive, worried and unsure of the entire process.
Honestly I had that strong maternal instinct which told me that I would be a good (if not great) mother. So after my marriage, the next natural progression, the motherhood came very very naturally to me mentally and physically as well. But one thing I was sure about whenever I thought about my baby was that it was always a daughter. My relation with my mother is the most sacred relation of my life. And I always thought that a daughter can be a mother’s best friend, confidant, guide and a support system as well. So like me, even my husband always wanted a girl. I always used to think about how I will nurture and nourish my daughter and how she would be the happiest to have me.
Then finally one day, I conceived. My family never had any bias for a boy child but just out of curiosity, the elders showed my horoscope to a family friend and expert Kiran. He told us that the baby is going to be a boy. Not only this, but he categorically mentioned to my husband “Agar tu puri cricket team bhi paida kar le to bhi tere naseeb me ladki nahi hai”. I was a little upset, but I never completely believed him as no one can predict future accurately. Eventually, in the course of my pregnancy, there were 5-6 incidents when people told me that I will have a boy. From how do I look and feel, what I crave eating, the shape of my bump, everything seemed to suggest that it was a boy. One pandit even told me that my great grandfather will be taking a rebirth through me. I was overwhelmed, but I didn’t know how to react to this.
Coincidently, I had also started reading a lot of spiritual books which expressed a lot of theories about rebirths, spirits, and guardian angels. In one of the books called “Laws of spirit world” it was explained that a woman who is in a process to conceive attracts the souls who wants to take a rebirth. The soul of the woman, her thoughts, her mental condition all contributes in her conception. The soul selects the woman who; depending upon her overall condition; can give it the required nourishment, experiences and teaching for the souls growth through that particular birth. So in short, the soul chooses its own mother for its time on earth. This was something really exciting that I was realizing.
In the 5th month of my pregnancy, the movements and kicks started. Every baby is unique but my baby, I felt, was a hyperactive. The kicks were really vigorous and frequent which confirmed my belief that it’s a boy. Girls, I felt, are delicate and tiny and in no way can kick so hard. The belief, somehow surprisingly was so strong that I gave up thinking about the other possibility that it might be after all a girl and my wish would come true.
On the day of the delivery, when finally I was on the operation table, I could see (I had a caesarean delivery) everything that was happening. Under the effect of the anesthesia, when they finally cut me and removed my baby, the first thing I saw were her really long legs. Next were the thick hair on what I felt was a huge head. I was crying with happiness. But at the same time, I was now sure that it’s a boy – no girl can have such a big head with a thick mane. I was so sure of it that I didn’t even ask the doctor about the sex of the child. The entire experience made unconscious because of which they took the baby directly to my mom outside.
After about half an hour when finally I regained my composure and was brought outside, I could see the happy faces of my entire family. I now realized that surprisingly still no one had actually told me whether it was a girl or a boy. Interrupting their congratulatory expressions, I shouted “are koi mujhe batayega kya hua hai ??” Surprised, my mom asked me, what I thought it was. With the sight of thick hair itched in my heart, I blatantly told her “it must be a boy”. My mom, greatly shocked herself, gave me the greatest and the most pleasant shock of my life. “No dumbo, it’s a girl”.
What !! Really !! A Girl !! I thought the anesthesia is working on my mind as well. Because if it was true, it would be the happiest moment of my life. When my mom finally put my daughter on my lap it was unbelievable. I thought, how could this incredible thing happen ?? I WAS A MOTHER OF A GIRL !!
Finally in a flash of a moment, it dawned on me everything what I had read about rebirths and guardian angels. So this was it !! Defying all the predictions, calculations and assumptions made by all the experts and experienced people, God had finally granted me my wish my daughter. It didn’t matter how I looked and what I ate and what was in my horoscope. What mattered was my feelings and my instincts and my desire to have a girl. My daughter was a heavenly soul and I was proud and humbled because this beautiful soul, I understood, had chosen me to be her mother. The theory and the laws that I had read had actually come true for me. I don’t know what joy I shall give her, but by choosing me she had given me a lifelong happiness. Not just that but she had invariably given me the huge responsibility of nurturing and guiding her throughout her life to the best of what I had. I was thrilled and I was crying.
After this incident, if anyone asks me about my daughter’s name, I tell them, its angel. And I know that its really true. !!!