Men always say that it’s impossible to understand women. True to an extent. But ask a man if he has really and actually made an effort to understand woman? After the initial embarrassment of being caught off guard, he will first try to get a very intelligent expression on his face, try to explain his “logic”, “method”, and “study” behind making such a statement and after realizing that no one is getting convinced, will shrug off in a “angur khatte hai” style and say, “No use making any effort darling. Even Einstein couldn’t decode women. Why should a simpleton like me even bother”. Women, see the point ??
The fact is – men are strange creatures. They love their women, but they love their cars and gadgets more. They like to talk big but know that they suck at the actual work. And for them, boozing is the solution for almost all the problems. They play along the myths so diligently created by the society and try to fit into the “politically correct” image expected out of them. Sooner or later, the women (optimistic and sentimental creatures they are) realize the absolute lie about it. It takes a huge effort on their part to accept the facts, work around them, support the men, make them successful and still get their perks. Nothing can be truer than the age old saying – there is always a woman behind every successful man.
Below are some of the biggest myths about men which women have successfully decoded after years of observation and patience. Yet, almost all the women are smart enough to not expose them but use them intelligently to their advantage. After all; there is no fun in being smart but losing out on all the goodies. So women play dumb which ensures that they get the lifelong supply of expensive gifts and those foreign holidays.
Disclaimer: If you are a man reading this, please take it with a pinch of salt and accept the truth – at least to your own self.
Myth no 1: Men are strong.
Fact: Damn lies. Men are just big bullies and know how to put forward their point. And that’s all about it. Period.
Myth no 2: Men are dependable.
Fact: Ask a woman who asked her man to fix the leaking tap two months ago. It might be still leaking and the man doesn’t even notice. Nothing can be left to the man – not even looking after the milk kept on the stove. Its sure to get spilt because the man will have all his attention in Virat Kohli’s batting. Men are as dependable as the Indian meteorological department.
Myth no 3: Men love women.
Fact: This is the biggest lie. Men just love the idea of a woman’s availability. They love the mystery, they love the challenge. They chase the woman around. Even embarrass themselves to impossible limits impressing the woman if she is playing hard to get. Once they win over her, love vanishes. A smart woman makes sure to never let the man realize the intensity of her love. She knows that once she has succumbed to his love, it will evaporate instantly.
Myth no 4: Men have an insatiable appetite for sex.
Fact: This is a really overrated aspect of men’s personality. Of course men don’t think about sex all the time. How can they ?? They have far more important stuff to think and discuss. Like world peace, India’s new policy towards Trumps America, the result of next assembly elections, the size and weight of A B De Vilier’s bat and what not. About sex ??? Ummm … What they actually have is the urge to release the semen, just like their urge to pee. They are the happiest if it can be done within 2 seconds.
Myth no 5: Men donot suffer from menopause.
Fact: In fact many of them do. Think about men in their late forties or early fifties. They are no more the young and dynamic studs they used to be and they have still not achieved anything anywhere they dreamt of. They live in the nostalgia of their youth and understand that they are not going anywhere with the future. They are emotionally down, sexually down and socially in the club of “Old”. They try to get solutions to their problems from strangers. Why do you think Dr. Mahinder Watsa made a fortune out of a newspaper column?
Myth no 6: Men care about their friends.
Fact: Depends what is called as caring. If you think a man will help another man who has just slipped on a banana skin to get to his feet – forget it. The man will be the first one to laugh the loudest – even if he doesn’t show it. Men secretly envy their friends who are richer, smarter and more successful. Also, most of them get a huge kick if that same richer, smarter and successful friend lose or make a fool out of himself.
Myth no 7: Men are generous and like spending on extravagant things.
Fact: Exactly opposite. Men get a heart attack almost every time the women show them the monthly grocery list, or the children’s school fees or the shopping bill. It kills them to part away with their money even if it’s meant for their ailing parents. Men, in fact go to extremes to hoard money. Uncle Scrooge was a man, remember ??
Myth no 8: Men are expert at handling stress.
Fact: Of course. Because they secretly love it and thrive on it. Men feel stress is directly proportional to their success. They make it a point to show off the level of stress they are handling on a daily basis. More stress means more success, you see the point ??
Myth no 9: Men don’t cry.
Fact: The fact is, men are not programmed to acknowledge pain or grief as fast as women. If they do face some emotional emergency, the first thing they think about is the immediate change of plans. So even if there is a death in the family, the first thing they will think of is – I will miss the client meeting on Thursday. Better reschedule the flight and save the money. After that is done, alcohol is the next sure shot solution to every pain in the world. One quarter of whisky and everything is fine.
Myth no 10: Men can understand a woman’s feelings.
Fact: Utter rubbish. Men, right from the primitive ages didn’t understand women’s feelings. They hunted and procreated in a mechanical way. They take life as it comes – in a mechanical way and don’t feel the need to understand women. They just do a good job of pretending only because the new age man is expected to “behave” and “think” and “feel”. The only real feeling they have is “Hunger”.
Myth no 11: Men love their home
Fact: This is true only till the age 7. After that, boys stick there because they don’t have choice. Why? Sociologists will tell you it’s the old hunting instinct. They just cant stick to one place. They constantly complain about the dust no one else sees, the smell no one else smells and the food everyone else loves. Basically, it’s the feeling of remaining bound to same place, same environment, same people which they feel as a bondage and want to get out as early as possible.
Myth no 12: Male bonding.
Fact: There is nothing in the world called male bonding. It is in fact male BOOZING !!